she was poetry

She was poetry, flowers
the sun smiling, itself
shining…a vista…
words of a moment
unraveled, in stretches
of old darkness
castles and keeps
she was beauty walking
with time unmetered, a
moment of rapture
and rupture, she
was poetry…words of
others, alive
in reams of paper
depths and heights of
books spent
describing her
praising, relishing her;
she was poetry…when
poetry was the synthesis
of emotion, license
and expression…and
she was owned
her beauty bought, words
not her own, her
dowry exchanged
she was property of
thought and body
a contract of kingdoms
the aggregation
of power
she was poetry because
without that meter
that prose…measure
and meaning…there was
nothing else
that she could be
so let her be
grateful cordial memorable
productive and
provincial, absent and
present, she can be the best
without deflection
supplication
she can be
her
own
words.

Yes…and no.

Of course I’m going to weigh in on the recent Caitlyn Jenner hullabaloo…you’ve met me before, correct? So…

…where to start?

There’s a lot of things to really like about the events surrounding her re-introduction and there is another basketful of things to really kind of feel slimy after having read them. First and foremost, Brava Brava!! It takes a lot of balls to lose your balls. And they certainly did a fine job of making her look very attractive, but…

…with a couple hundred thousand dollars of plastic surgery and the tireless efforts of some truly amazing makeup and hair styling artists (not to mention the gigacycles of Photoshop required), I’m pretty sure I could be made to look like Kate Upton. Wait, I might be thinking about the several hundred thousand dollars I’d pay to date Kate Upton…but I digress…the point is that yeah she’s beautiful but it’s a contrived beauty. A manufactured beauty which, sadly, is my main point.

That seems to be all we have as role models these days; manufactured beauty…manufactured talent…manufactured outrage…basically we’ve seem to have lost authenticity. Genuineness. What is real.

Ironically, I think the inflection point in society where this truly started was the advent of reality TV shows…those things that advertise themselves as true reflections of humanity in variously stressful situations to show us how “real” people react in “real” situations so we somehow get to learn lessons of behavior whilst concurrently being entertained.

Bollocks.

Reality TV is as far from reality as I am from dating Kate Upton (I am crying inside…just a little) and everyone *who watches* knows and simply doesn’t care anymore. The watching public, as dumbfuck as they all are, accept that they are being lied to and they wholeheartedly buy the advertised products and they read the tabloid websites and they talk to their BFF’s during their latest mani-pedi or poker night and the absolute worst…they procreate.

Politicians, TV talking heads, police spokesmen…and on and on…don’t even bother to pretend their telling the truth anymore. How many times do we have to see this: a cop shoots an unarmed citizen in the back, the spokesman tells us it was justified because the cop thought his life was in danger…from 30 feet away…from a guy who back was turned…who had headphones on.

True story.

And we the public, the citizens of the world, are responding in kind…spouting unvarnished lies and mistruths…with us manufacturing our own rage at the world. Some seriously twisted people protesting that Caitlyn Jenner’s Olympic medals should be revoked…some others creating whole myths around people like Obama, Bush, etc. that have no basis in reality yet take hold and grow and grow until by sheer size they just *have* to be true.

So…long story just a little bit longer; “Holy shit that is AWESOME!” and “Holy shit we’re all fucked!”

Believe. Go. Do.

~TrevorZen

go go go Amanda

It’s been a while since I went on a rant…so…lucky you, eh?

I read what Amanda Palmer wrote about “Embrace your flaws” the other day (basic response; fuck you) and then just today someone wrote a thing on only being around people who know your worth…and I started thinking (usually a dangerous endeavor) about this whole concept of worth (and it’s evil step dad; judgment) and the gears just started grinding.

Some would say that it all starts with money, and that fact that you have some and that the big corporations (with limitless media reach) want to get some of it from you…but it started long before that.

The question that begs is what is it about humans that a huge part of our character is the seemingly unending lust to have dominion over another person…or millions of them? The idea that the end-all, be-all of life is to be king…or president or dictator or movie star or billionaire…or husband or wife…but to have “control” over at least one other person?

And then, how is this power manifested?

The origin of this lust for power is the idea that there is a better and there is a worse when it comes to people. Good and evil. Right and wrong. Us and them…because it will always be the “better” people who are in charge over the “less than better” people…and of course it’s the better people who get to make that judgment (and that’s where Amanda and others have started piping up)…

…but what happens when the “less than better” folks pretty much don’t give a fuck?

You see, once you buy into the idea that someone else is in charge of how you’re supposed to feel about yourself—think magazines and websites and advertising and movie stars and hip hop artists, blah blah blah all telling you that you’re inferior or not good enough unless you do “X”,—then they have dominion over you…power…which you gleefully (it seems) just give to them.

But you don’t have to.

Once you stop looking externally for validation for who you are and how you should feel about yourself (your looks, your shape, your color, your sexual orientation, your…everything) is the day that you realize that all the power you ever need has been inside you since they day you were born…and is the day that you throw off the shackles of the emotional oppression you’ve been living with your entire life.

It is the day that you regain the power over yourself, the power you’ve been giving away.

It is today, actually…

…or could be wink emoticon

Believe. Go. Do

~TrevorZen

it seems

It seems to be
ending, this
effort, this
motion forward…
…so many sad hurt,
lost love, lost
humanity
feeling the floor
falling away
with religions inciting
the very things they
preach against
with governments
denying the dying wishes
of its citizens
with corporations
stripping the earth of
its dignity
with masses all heading
toward
extinction…
…it seems to be ending
but
when turned
toward
inward;
small social loops
it is just
beginning…
…because it is that;
the
slimmest margin
the
smallest effort
the
slightest motion
that pushes the world
toward peace
happiness
quiet
and the idea
that love
is an end
unto
itself.

machines and madness

It’s an interesting thing
this idea of spring
rebirth
rising up
of flashes of fire
of moments
burning
of the life we have
becoming
something more
a full moon of hope
…missing nothing
seeing everything
feeling the moment
singularly
the weight of time
on and on
and on shoulders
and within
the constraint we call
living
we fall into the cadence
tick tick tick
of heartbeats
over the digital hum
the machines and madness
of spring…
…the passing of the simple
darkness that was
winter
and we shed
no tears
goodbye

Meh.

So. The huge media storm over Indiana’s new religious freedom law is raging and people are screaming and crying, rending clothes, businesses are pulling out and/or telling employees to stay away, the usual talking heads are talking, talking, talking and chewing through airtime like a fat man at a donut shop and I’m all like “meh.”

I say the law didn’t go far enough.

They should immediately amend the law to say this:
“Businesses, of any size, in the great state of Indiana (go Hoosiers!) may deny goods and/or services to any class of citizen based on any characteristics deemed offensive by the business owner, whether it is based on religion, nationality, race, creed, sexual orientation, etc.,…

…BUT…

…if services and/or goods are denied a specific category, then that category must be prominently displayed on the outside of the business in I foot high block letters visible from at least 100 feet away. An example would be “WE DO NOT SERVE HOMOSEXUALS” or “WE DO NOT SERVE BLACK PEOPLE”.”

This way, it will be abundantly clear to all patrons exactly what kind of assholes own those businesses and they can make decisions to shop or not shop there.

Deal done.

Problem solved.

Big Fat Brains

Think of it this way…

…everything we know, that has been taught and explained to us, it all depends upon one thing…that we have brains extremely similar to us all. It’s our brains, the thing we use to make sense of all the gazillions of data bits coming in through eyes, ears, noses…and the very skin that wraps us up and keeps us from spilling out all over the floor…that makes all of this meaningful. Because how our brains are constructed really forms the basis of how we understand the universe and ourselves.

Don’t believe me? That’s your brain talking ;)

We can’t help it, it’s the only tool we have for explaining the unexplainable and we do so (to ourselves) every second of every minute of every day of our lives. Does a tree believe in god? Do grizzly bears know about the big bang theory? Are fish aware of the idea that they are made of molecules and atoms?

No. Within the confines of their reality, they all understand what they do based on the abilities of their thinking parts…their brain…and cannot fathom anything different. But…

…none of what they think or what we think changes the underlying structure of reality. Ever. Think of this…if you’re standing somewhere that is supposedly meaningful (spiritually, religiously, etc.) like a church or synagogue or temple, it is only because someone told you so—specifically and measurably there is no special sensation, no radiating warmth, no buzzy feeling that you could define that says that that place is “special”.

Someone had to tell you.

We’re told that leaves are green, water is wet, the sky is blue and trillions of other things about reality because, well, just because. We have to call them something…things have names simply because we need to talk about them to understand them. That’s it. There is nothing inherently special about anything from a metaphysical perspective just because mankind gave it a name.

Reality just is.

So the point is that without our big fat brains, if our “thinking” never existed to name things (like the area between your nose and upper lip…philtrum by the way) then they would be changed in no way…ever…at all. And that counts for every single thing in the universe.

Even you.

Think about that the next time you start to feel that events are overcoming you, that the world is getting to be too much…because it’s just words meant to describe stuff that will happen regardless having a name.

Feel better?