What we should know

These are 11 things we should know:

  1. You can do everything right and still lose the game.
  2. Reality doesn’t believe in rainbow farting Unicorns either
  3. Some people will be mean to you regardless what you do or say
  4. Don’t assume they know what you’re talking about
  5. Some issues are binary with demonstrably correct/incorrect answers
  6. Some issues have an enormous spectrum of “shades of grey” answers
  7. It is your responsibility to decide which is which
  8. You can count the number of people who should take responsibility for your actions on one finger pointing back at yourself.
  9. It costs nothing to be nice to people
  10. Government was created to protect you from me, protecting you from you is your responsibility
  11. You cannot truly love another person without having loved yourself first.

There are other things we should know but, start with these, and you’ll get to the rest when you’re ready.

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blocking the light

We look in places

where the truth

would never fit

in darkness

when the truth

seeks light, under…

when we know the truth

is above,

we look with eyes

that can’t see,

minds that can’t think, we

search with no map,

with no sense, we

see the truth but can’t…see it…

not with what we have

not with who we are,

not with all that

stands between us;

we are all in our own way,

preventing movement,

blocking the light.

Blocking the

light.

We are not contained,

assembled or aligned

in any way,

in any way toward a common

ending, a common

sense of humanity…instead

we wind our way

down a deadly path, a violent

and fearful fantasy

of truth and lies…

we cannot escape,

cannot evade, cannot

live with

or without

denying our own selves; we

accept it because

our fear is blocking the light.

Blocking

the light.

We are as connected

to each other as never

before

and separated

from ourselves like

nothing since

so we die in droves,

we live in towns

and cities,

in houses of hate,

we live

and die

sensing that in all

that we do

we cannot help

but will always be

blocking

the light.

Blocking

the

light.

The light

that can only

be called

truth.

What You Need

Spade, Bourdain, who’s next? Which lavishly compensated, globally loved celebrity is going to off themselves? Which person, who seemingly has the fucking world on a string, is going to end their life today? Tomorrow?

Damn right I’m fucking mad…

…but not why you probably think.

I’m not mad because they were singularly selfish leaving loved ones to forever…FOREVER…wonder what THEY did wrong and why their loved one; dad, mom, brother, whatever was such an asshole to do what they did. And I’m not mad that they seemingly took in all that life, good luck and happy circumstance had to offer…so much more than the rest of us could ever hope for…and basically threw it all in the trash.
Nope.
I’m mad at them because there are millions, maybe billions, of folks suffering the same dark and scary things, the same deep depression that Spade and Bourdain were suffering but who do not also have the luxury of experiencing all the success, money and fame that they did. What the fuck are they supposed to think now? If wealth, fame and success—the very fucking things that society demands we strive for—do not offer any hope, any relief or happy distraction from the black and eternal hell that some people live everyday inside their heads…
…what’s the goddamn point??

Well…the point is NOT to strive for those things that society demands, it’s NOT to try to make yourself into some smiling automaton eagerly consuming all the garbage that gets shit out of the societal greed machine. The point is NOT to look at people like Spade and Bourdain, to love them as some kind of consumer elevated gods…
…but to look inside yourself, and simply love that person.
To understand that you are not meant to be compared to anyone else. That you are not meant to subscribe to anyone else’s version of happiness…that you were born with everything that you ever need in this life to be happy and to love and cherish yourself. And that by doing so, and ONLY by doing so, will you ever truly love another person.

You are all that you need…to be needed by all.

Believe. Go. Do.
~TrevorZen

the next detail

Have you ever
gotten angry
at your eyes
because something you’re
looking at
is too large, too detailed…
to beautiful
to see it all at once?
And your eyes scan and focus,
unfocus,
move to the next detail,
the next detail
the next detail
because you want to
you HAVE to
see everything at once,
the whole thing
its entirety
as if you could inhale it
in one
long
breath.
But you can’t
because your eyes aren’t fast
enough, aren’t
large enough,
don’t have
the ability, capability
to absorb the massive
amount of information
that you want,
need.
You.
You make me
angry
at my eyes.

4 words

We know the words, the 4 words most
important to our journey
our sailing ship
the words that are the difference, the
true difference
between knowing
and hoping
between here
and there
we know the words and wait
to hear them…
from ourselves, from others, from
inside and
outside
in darkness, in
a chilled velvet November New York night,
in a
blast furnace August Miami morning
we know the words;
‘you are not alone’
and they are vital not because “alone” is horrible
unwanted deprived diminished
frightening
but because if we hear
them, if
they land on eardrums waiting;
then
then
then someone
said them
to
us
and knowing that , feeling that;
having that be the friction on skin that warms
the beating of blood
within
that knowledge becomes
a beacon
a shining lighthouse in storms
of hazard and casualty
and by setting
our compass to a distant point
on a hidden
horizon
we will always be able
prepared
capable of going
home
even if home is wherever we are
right now.

Now

Now I watch as if I am living
in
a moment of suspension, a madness
creeping by on cat feet,
on
the edge of awareness
I watch her
walk away and felt
my blood cool inside of
me
felt the street beneath
my feet
the air against my
skin
and sadness
blanket the noises around me
until I heard
nothing…felt
nothing
and I realized
that
I was happy to once have had
something so amazing
to lose;
the places where her face filled memories
her smile, eyes that
looked back at me
briefly
too, too briefly
as the dinner hour rushed by
as
she became and at once went
into a past cluttered
with meaningless and thoroughly abstract
echoes of a before
before
there was a
now.