…the crystal ball will drop in Times Square. Revelers around the world will straggle home, nod off, and greet the new year with a gritty dullness caused by sleep deprivation, over-stimulation and inebriation…OK, I’m talking about me specifically…but the behavior suggests that we give higher priority to the final few hours of the past than the first few hours of the future—perhaps because endings are more concrete than beginnings, and regrets sharper than resolutions. We see/feel/hear/know endings quite clearly—and painfully mostly—while resolutions are always ephemeral and ghost-like, until achieved at least, so we generally tell resolutions to fuck off.
But there is one resolution that you NEED to make: fall in love with yourself this year…
…I’m being heart attack serious here. Look in those dusty dark corners of your personal reality/soul/whatever you call that cavernous realm inside you and find all the evil-bad shit that you’ve been hoarding—yes, I said hoarding—for years. Drag all of the self-loathing, the destructive thoughts, the pain and the sadness, the disappointments and failures and just spill that shit out onto the front law so it’s in full antiseptic sunlight… then…
…just look at it—really fucking look at it this time…not the fake looking you do in therapy or when “confiding” to a friend; LOOK AT IT DAMMIT!—walk around it, grab it and hold it to see how much it weighs, examine the edges, notice the pitting and scarring from years of belief…TRULY see it for what it is…
…meaningless to anyone but you.
Only you care. Only you attach the negative and destructive effects that you’ve felt for all these years. Only you have made the choice that these horrible, utterly terrifying feelings have any weight, have any meaning whatsoever.
Only you care….so?
Make the other choice. Make the choice that they are nothing, that they are OK to feel…that you are OK to feel them. That you are no different than any other person, that you are allowed to have those feelings. That it’s natural and normal.
That you are normal.
You need no other person’s permission. You need no other person’s validation. You only need you. Seriously, just accept the shit out of yourself. Out of shape, messy, lazy, fat, skinny, forgetful, smelly, profane…what-the fuck-ever…love you for you.
The only resolution that will ever mean anything is this: make the choice to you love yourself. To accept your imperfect life. To recognize that you are the same as every other human on the planet with faults and bad judgment, with mad successes and debilitating failures…because you deserve to love, you deserve to be loved…simply because you’re here.
So…just before midnight—wherever you are—when we’re all in the throes of creating that massive hangover known as New Year’s Day…I really want you to know that, regardless you making the resolution to love and accept yourself…
…I love and accept you, simply for being you.
Now fuck off, I have drinking to do.
Believe. Go. Do.