“When I was”
When I was 10 I knew what I wanted
For lunch but never thought much farther ahead than that
Who needed to?
When I was 20 I knew what I wanted
By knowing what I didn’t want
I didn’t want to see the wires that held up the flying angels in the play
I didn’t want to feel the stinging cold of the glare of a woman scorned
I didn’t want to know the answers to the questions beforehand
I didn’t want to feel left out, unaware or forgotten by my friends
When I was 30 I knew what wanted
By knowing what everyone else wanted
I wanted to be rich and drive an expensive car and live in a big house
I wanted the perfect wife who had bridge night on Tuesdays when I went bowling
I wanted to be a picture in the newspaper underneath exciting words about fantastic things
I wanted success and more of everything than my father ever had
When I was 40 I knew what I wanted
By knowing what I could have
I wanted to know and understand reality for exactly what it is; not how I wanted it to be
I wanted to be happy to open my eyes in the morning knowing always what the first thing I will see is
I wanted to go back and not be a selfish idiot when it was really important to not be a selfish idiot
I wanted to forgive when it was easier to blame
When I am 50 I will know what I want
By knowing what I want to be
I want kindness to be what I am known for…just ask the kids in my neighborhood
I want generosity to be an aura that follows me everywhere
I want invisible curiosity tattooed on the underside of both eyelids so I am always looking for something
I want a hand to hold when the path is uneven, and,
When I am 60, 70, 80 and beyond I will know what I want
By knowing what I want to leave
I want to know that where I have been and what I have done has left a mark…
…on someone…