It is interesting to me, sometimes I think, to wonder about other lives,
times, people (you) who rely on their thinking, their motion movement toward
their ideas and endings as I rely on mine without notice, without
connection….without the ties that bind us to humanity.
I have an idea how this big thing works, this life rolling forward
outward onward and I think (think think think) about what it is, what
I see it as in my head in my eyes looking backward and I can’t believe
it is anything like what you see (or she sees, he sees….)
Memories of missteps long ago; faltering stumbles toward growing up
in a world less frequently thought of as tolerated—lived through—to
get to today…but not today…the today of yesterday; of young reflections
in a boyhood mirror filtered by the least amount of understanding.
I know that while my orbit swung ‘round the sun of youth, a universe of
beginnings revolved around a million, a billion or so others (you) all unseen
unknown and living dying eating sleeping finding losing loving hating
around me, down the street, next door, inland China…the Solomon Islands.
All these lives; all new…all now…all piled on time’s great barge—nudged,
pushed, manipulated down muddy rivers and living in squalor, in riches, in filth
or fantastic but fatalistic circles (ever tightening) arc toward death, toward
today and thoughts of tomorrow while on the way.
With the conceit of youth never let go, my movements my feelings my thoughts
exist in this bubble…I imagine…untouched unfazed unmoved by the billion (you), by
the manipulation of time, by the arc…yet I know, I should know, I want to know that
I am not alone not just a single point in that universe of beginnings.
I think (now) we spin along our individual axes in our individual orbits thinking
individual thoughts while always always always being one of the billion, one of
the all, one of one of one all connected overlapping unknown to each other until
we know each other and in my new beginning I want to know