headfirst into the hole

I’ve lost the will to be
afraid, to be
herded into that sad
dream, that media
event, that investment
of the psyche so
wrongly directed, a
madness shared…I’ve
lost the thread that
ties me to the idea that
we should ignore who
we are want to be, can 
…imagine
I have lost the thing I
never wanted and I
feel only freedom inside
only a great empty
space to explore, to
roam—to own—to create
in the image of only
what I feel think see
…am
I embrace the
loss of hesitation, the 
absence of anxiety as
I wholeheartedly jump
headfirst into the hole
where that great
pain of loneliness lived
I have willfully and
completely, conceitedly
and unashamedly 
let go of myself 
(subsumed and devoid
of self), in order
to save my
soul

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