The Zero In My Empty

I can feel my feet
inside these shoes,
the skin on my
arms, the breath in
my lungs, I stretch
my thoughts
across time and
space looking for
the other half,
the remaining bit
that once sloughed off,
is forever missing
is forever gone…an
empty portal
leading to nowhere
meaning nothing
being the zero in my
empty, the one
so hard fought
so diligently denied
I watch the door
for a whisper
a shadow
a hand on the handle
as the sounds of
passing conversation
ebbing and flowing
as it ascends
and descends
with interest and
boredom I watch
the door
looking for solace
for compassion
for her to walk in
while waiters hurry
and kind, patient
and annoyed
ask again and again
but it’s just water
until the moment
until the heavens open
and the light
illuminates my loneliness
my hunger and
it is a bell
a small ringing of the door
and she is here
she is sitting
she is smiling
and that zero
that empty
that moment of doubt
and glory
it is gone
it is now and
she is here…
the waiter
is happy and,
dinner begins.

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