I asked this question of a friend a couple years ago (you won’t have to guess why) “If you don’t like getting stung by bees, why did you grab that bee hive? His answer is irrelevant but the lesson is not…if you know (are fully aware) that your actions result in something you do not like then stop the action. Seems simple, eh?
But what if the “action” is just “you being you”? If the action is something that you do unconsciously and seemingly without thought…automatic, a reaction, a characteristic…something that you believe you don’t control. You end up defending yourself (to yourself) by saying internally “fuck the world if they don’t like me…I am who I am” and then it turns out that the world doesn’t like you…or at least the ones you give a shit about…and you feel stuck in that
Even that automatic behavior can be changed (no matter how ridiculous that sounds) because as it turns out, even though we’re technically animals, we have highly evolved brains that can actually override that part of us. Because everything is external to us (and we experience living through our senses) we “react” to that outside stimulus.
That means we have a choice.
Here’s another seemingly simple idea yet is massively difficult to understand and put into practice…”What we do consistently and constantly is what we believe is important.” Period. End of story. You want to do something that you don’t or can’t do now? Make it important. Make it essential to you living, breathing…being part of this world.
The question you ask “I’m just told to be myself. Where the f is that going to get me?” means to me that you believe that “yourself” is unchangeable, immovable…that you’re stuck with the person you see when you look in the mirror.
Without judgment, without moral dilemma of any kind, without saying the worlds “good” or “bad”, “right” or “wrong” and in fact completely ignoring every other fucker on this planet…decide the person you want to be, the differences, the similarities, and learn to be that person. Make the actions you want important and the ones you don’t want…unimportant.
You won’t change overnight, you won’t even change over several months but eventually one day—actually when you don’t expect it—you will look in the mirror and see the person you’re looking for.
I say this from experience.
Believe. Go. Do.