This I know…
There’s a guy standing in front of you, looking in your eyes and speaking right into your face…barely a foot away. He’s obviously very interested in telling you something and by the concerned look on his face it must be extremely important. His voice intonation rises and falls—as the subject seems to vary between anger and disappointment to explanation and education—he gestures with his hands and arms as the conversation goes on. This happens for almost 45 minutes until suddenly, apparently satisfied he got his point across, he abruptly stops and walks away. The only problem was that he was talking to you in German…
…and you don’t speak German.
What do you think the effect of his words are on you? Regardless what they were—telling you how disappointed he is that you didn’t finish college or how sad he is that you’re not married or how embarrassed he is to mention to his friends that you’re not a lawyer—because you could not understand them, they have no effect at all. Regardless if that person was your father/mother, wife/husband, boss or whomever…if you cannot understand them, their words mean nothing and can’t affect you. The words have no power over you at all…and they never have, by themselves.
You give them power.
Because you allow yourself to understand the word in reference to you, you give them the power to hurt you. You decide, you choose to be hurt by those words when, in fact, the words themselves mean nothing at all. Not to your self-esteem, not to your confidence, not to who you really are. The words, regardless how important the person is who is saying them to you, mean nothing more than the affect you allow them to have. Period.
The next time you find yourself standing with someone spewing words at you, simply say this;
“Es tut mir leid , ich verstehe dich nicht , ich spreche kein Deutsch.” **
Believe. Go. Do.
~Trevor “Uber” Zen
**I’m sorry, I don’t understand you, I don’t speak German.