quiet still hesitant

I don’t know that feeling, when…

…when you meet someone new

today, last week, yesterday but they have been

there for years, for

ever

for so long that you can’t remember them

not being

but you’ve just met the corporeal version;

human v1.0…

not the imagined, visualized

fantasized, dreamt version

well

I met

so hello feeling…

and it’s a hard thing, it’s shaking my head

rubbing temples, closing

eyes and blinking

it’s wondering if this is what it means

to die…to see the thing I’ve

wanted

created

in those corners of my brain

I don’t even

have a name for…

is this

love?

is this real when what it is,

is too correct, too

right…

I want to yell, run

and scream down the wet street

all while

not moving

sitting waiting quiet still hesitant

for

the other

shoe

to

drop.

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