quiet still hesitant

I don’t know that feeling, when…

…when you meet someone new

today, last week, yesterday but they have been

there for years, for


for so long that you can’t remember them

not being

but you’ve just met the corporeal version;

human v1.0…

not the imagined, visualized

fantasized, dreamt version


I met

so hello feeling…

and it’s a hard thing, it’s shaking my head

rubbing temples, closing

eyes and blinking

it’s wondering if this is what it means

to die…to see the thing I’ve



in those corners of my brain

I don’t even

have a name for…

is this


is this real when what it is,

is too correct, too


I want to yell, run

and scream down the wet street

all while

not moving

sitting waiting quiet still hesitant


the other




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