Grateful

When I look inside these closed doors, behind shuttered
windows…locks and deadbolts…I see
a hand reaching toward the
light creeping in cracks, past
barriers to the outside world, the life waiting just
a few inches away, just beyond
where eyes can see, fingers feel, ears
note rising rhythms…vibrating in symphony, in
time to a beating heart…

 

When I look inside these locked doors I see where
I stand; not outside not free not feeling wind and
sun and fresh reality flowing water sliding
signs of dependence; good and right and
embraced…but
old fear and long held images of lost and
found and singular thinking never
seeing beyond the one, beyond the
weight of everything…

 

When I look inside these closed doors I see an
opening, slight and slow and simple…and
complex and involved and deep and
beyond what I knew then what I know now what
I felt and what I feel…and
know that it is not my hand that has put the key
in the lock, put the sun in the sky, the wind in the trees, the
time in the clock…

 

When I look inside these doors I wonder how
it happened…they are unlocked…I look not too
deeply not too closely…fear rises…it is fleeting, it is an
image floating falling leaving on wings of insecurity; fear
leaving behind locked doors and I am
grateful they are open, they are no longer
between me and you.

 

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