A Fully Paid-up Member of Reality

Love yourself…learn to love yourself…and everything will be fine, great, amazing even. You hear this from me and from others all of the time but what exactly does it mean? How DO you love yourself? Hell, how do you know that you don’t already, but, more importantly, how can you do something if you don’t know what it is? Well, let me tell you what I know about loving yourself…it’s surprisingly not that difficult to do, but, it’s also the hardest fucking thing you’ve ever done.

Forget romance and intimacy and all popular notions of what love is as they have nothing at all to do with loving yourself—after all, you’re not taking yourself on a date. Instead, fully embrace the idea of honesty…real honesty, not that sugar coated shit that you use to make yourself feel better when you fail at something. Not that kinda/sorta/maybe crap where you leave out little details like how much you detest yourself when you can’t do something well, or as well as others, because you hear your mom or your dad’s disappointed voice in your head.

No…real live, actual honesty where you look at yourself—this exact instant—without distortion, without bias…as a fully paid-up member of reality…and truly see yourself in all of your magnificent beauty and in all of your grotesque ugliness. Loving who you are means that you accept the good and the bad, the brilliant and the fucked up, without condition, without restraint. It means that you let go of judgment, that you release yourself from comparison to an impossible standard…simply, it means that you recognize, and believe, that you are human; fallible and flawed, the same as the other 7 billion on this planet.

Loving who you are does mean that you automatically like everything about yourself. In fact, when you love yourself, you are finally able to clearly see those areas that you don’t like, that are holding you back or that cause you and those you love pain. Loving yourself lets you finally see the things that you can change…without the surrounding guilt or regret bullshit from society…and also the things that you can’t change…

…and, without fanfare and drama, simply accept both.

Believe. Go. Do.

~TrevorZen

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