Geek Karma

This is the geek form of karma, you may or may not understand the deep and foundational effect these events had on me and, for that, I am sorry but I will tell you anyway…and yes, I know you did not ask me to.

A few weeks ago I needed a new phone so I did what every diehard technology freak does, I went review shopping on the web. I looked at hundreds of reviews about dozens of phones until I settled on 2 different models; the Nokia 820 (ATT) and the HTC 8X (Verizon) which are both the new Windows 8 phones. On the day that I needed to actually buy one (purely arbitrary internal pressure, of course, no one “needs” to buy a gadget), though, only the Nokia was on sale so off I trundled to my local ATT store. Needless to say I joyfully and wistfully plunked down the plastic for the new phone, full retail mind you, none of that subsidized crap for me, and a month to month contract as well so that when the next shiny noisy gadget caught my eye, I would have nothing in the way of joyfully plunking down the plastic again.

Now one of the selling points, for me, was that both phones had wireless charging built in as I find it a hassle to plug the damn thing in constantly (yeah, I know, first world problem, cry me a river, blah, blah). With wireless charging, you just set the phone down on a little slab of plastic and, viola! Juice be flowing an shit. The store didn’t have the wireless charger so I ordered one online later that day.

So I’m at home and reveling in my little slice of technology heaven (imagine me on the floor like a small dog, relentlessly throwing a ball in the air with my mouth and catching it, yelping with pleasure) when I notice that the documentation that came with the phone mentions (in very small lettering) that in order for it to charge wirelessly, I would need to purchase, at extra cost, a new back cover for the phone. It was not “out of the box” able to charge wirelessly.

What the fuck! Unfair, unfair, unfair! I yelled silently, Rip-off I said aloud…so off I went in search of a new back cover but, because the phone was so new, no store stocked the specific covers yet. I couldn’t even find them online so I pouted to myself that I would just have to wait and hopefully, they would be available before the wireless charger arrived. I have to say, as well, that I was disappointed in Nokia for setting false expectations. In a word, I sulked.

Fast forward a week and in typical NYC bachelor fashion I was out on the town attempting to drink my fair share of all available alcohol—citywide of course, even the boroughs—when, at some point in the revelry, my marvelous little slice of technology seemed to have jumped ship. I have mental flashes of myself dashing around madly in some LES bar at 4:30 AM shouting “My phone, I’ve lost my phone!!” Looking under tables, between patrons legs (dangerous to say the least) and utterly making a fool of myself. Not that I hadn’t already made a fool of myself but, in this case, I was attempting the epic performance for which many would judge me for years to come.

Suffice it to say that come Sunday afternoon when reality poked it’s annoying nose into my business and regretfully (yeah, I bet, there was a smile on those lips) informed me that A) I had indeed lost my most favoritist thing in the world, B) yes, that thing on the end of my neck was a head and yes it was vibrating with a high frequency pain seldom observed on this planet, and, C) no, that was not my couch nor my living room I was lying on or in. With swift apologies and the gathering of my scattered clothes I made me way out and back to BK and my own humble little abode.

I was shattered. I had lost my shiny thing, my seriously cool new phone and, well, I won’t go into the deep depression, the mooning, the tears…the utter devastation I felt and will say only that I grieved…deeply and loudly. Until of course I got around to buying another phone, which is what I immediately did so the grief, while deep and meaningful, was short lived and, in fact, was all of about 3 hours’ worth.

I went for the HTC model this time and this time from Verizon which, any geek will tell you, is the preeminent wireless carrier simply because of the technology they use as their base carrier signal. I will not regale you with hours of debate over CDMA versus GSM and how basically GSM and EDGE sucks balls and CDMA and LTE are the bomb…no, I won’t do that because most of you really couldn’t give a shit. I’m smart like that.

Again I was that little yip-yip dog on the floor throwing the ball in the air over and over, happy as ever…each and every time, and I was almost completely over my deep sense of loss over the Nokia. Then karma, that rapturous, delightfully surprising little bugger poked her head around the corner and told me that the postman just delivered my Nokia wireless charger and that I should probably get that puppy from the mailbox, which I did immediately.

Ripping open the box like it was Christmas morning I scrambled around plugging things in and setting the plastic pad on the counter and finally, with the trepidation that only a true geek could muster, I set the HTC 8X down and waited….and…and…YES, charging!! Without having to pay $75 for another back cover, without having to do anything but the simple act of putting the phone down on the counter.

Geek karma, meet geek heaven.

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