Conversation with a socialist agitator:

 

Me: Hey Mr. Agitator, how’s tricks?

Mr. Agitator: Hey Trev, going great, been protesting Wall Street all week and am getting ready to go sit-in at the local Whole Foods to protest obscene corporate profiteering. You?

Me: Oh, hey, doing good. Putting my 60-65 hours a week in, maintaining my bourgeois lifestyle, keeping the country afloat by stimulating the local economy by purchasing goods and services…you know, the usual. I heard that you were working, how’s that going?

MA: Yeah, sad eh? I was squatting over in a LES tenement but a group of artists took the place over and with all that art talk and creativity going on, I couldn’t hear myself think so I found a place in Brooklyn where I share with friends, we all chip in…very comrade like.

Me: So you’re working at a food cart, how’s that?

MA: I get $10 an hour under the table because, you know, fuck the government, who needs to pay taxes, right?

Me: But MA, you’re a socialist, where else is the government going to get the money to redistribute? For welfare and food stamps? For the thousands of social programs meant to help the poor?

MA: Fuck them, man. I can barely afford the place I live and feed myself. Let those sorry sons of bitches get out and work on a food cart…it’s shitty work and hard so why should I share with them? They have all those government programs to leach off, they should leave me the fuck alone.

Me: Um, MA, how are they going to…um, you know what, never mind…send me a text the next time your on the news for disrupting some business, cool?

MA: You got it Trev, fuck the man!

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