We are standing on the planet Zoltron in the Gabbba Gabba Hey (G2H) galaxy which is approximately 400 light years from Earth. The chlorine/sulfuric gas of the atmosphere swirls in eddies and small vortexes, blowing about bits of sodium and frozen mercury. A large red giant star is setting and breaches the horizon and immediately the scarlet hue upon the landscape starts to fade, casting shadows that grow as the planet revolves. Two small creatures, resembling turtles inasmuch that they have pseudo shells covering their upper bodies but have six multi-articulated legs beneath and a set of forward facing claws like lobsters, can be seen scrabbling across the rock outcroppings. Two large eyes on short flexible stalks top the shell portion of their bodies, long slow blinks of lids with ragged lashes the only indication that they are looking around themselves…they stop on a flat plateau overlooking a wide valley.
Zorg, the shorter, wider of the two speaks first, “Wait here mate, my feet are killing me…we’ve been going since yesterday.” He immediately stops and folds his legs underneath himself and settles into kind of a birds nest yoga posture. If they had yoga on Zoltron, that is. “I’m not sure we’re going to find what we’re looking for…before morning that is.”
Zyzx, the other turtle-like creature comes to an abrupt halt, almost shuffling into Zorg, “Watch it dumbass, I was walking there!” Zorg seems to not notice his friend as he starts to clean his claws with one of his back legs, a rhythmic swiping back and forth. Zyzx stares incredulous at his friend for a moment before realizing it’s useless to be upset, Zorg couldn’t give less than a fuck what Zyzx thought or felt.
Zorg continues talking, looking up at the darkening sky, “Have you ever wondered what’s out there?” an eye stalk swiveling upwards, “What kind of weird creatures might exist on other planets?” Both eye stalks swivel toward Zyzx, who has settled into his own version of a yoga position.
Zyzx’s own eye stalks swing around to his friend “Maybe there are sentient beings out there,” he says, “Beings that look nothing like us, maybe bipedal, maybe living on a world where the atmosphere is oxygen and nitrogen based…” his voice trailing off while his eye stalks scan the darkening sky. “Maybe these beings have evolved into large societies of multi-cultural groups, all interacting and coexisting, if not happily, then somewhat peacefully.” Zyzx flicks a Zibbet fly off his left claw, “Maybe these beings inhabit a planet that orbits a star like ours, only smaller and more yellow…and that on the anniversary of each orbit, they all make this kind of wishes about the future, about the things they want to be different.”
Zorg barks out a sharp laugh “Haa! You had me going there for a second mate, that last bit about wishing for the future to be different is just fucked up. Why don’t they just get off their lazy zubnots and make the changes within themselves? Wishing for shit to happen without doing anything to make it happen is just plain…well…alien.”
Zarbreve. Zib. Zod