Don’t Give it Back

Another thing I’ve learned along the way.

You don’t own shame.

Shame is what people give you when they see that you have none (or not enough) and they believe that they need to give you some of their own self-hatred because they have too much. Know that the shame that you have was given to you by someone else and you accepted it thinking you didn’t have a choice. That was a lie by the person giving you that shame, you always have a choice.

Please know—deeply and completely—that you are a beautiful, amazing and independent individual reliant upon no other person on this planet or in this universe for how you feel and who you are. Shame is the name of what we feel when we turn away from ourselves, when we disregard our own worth, when we accept the hatred from others…when we agree with them regardless how utterly and completely wrong they are.

There is nothing that anyone can say or do that can make you feel differently unless you actually agree with them first.


Love yourself and lose your fear; fear of being alone or being with the wrong person…fear of not being loved…fear of not loving…fear of being hurt…fear of failure or even of success. You lose shame not by giving it back, that only increases the amount you have, you lose the shame that was given to you by simply understanding…

…that it was never theirs to give.

Believe. Go. Do.


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