Brave New World


Old way of meeting girl on street (verbatim) around Union Square:

Me: Hey wow! Excuse me! I just had to tell you that you have one of the most gorgeous smiles I’ve seen.
Girl: Haaa haa, thanks!
Me: No problem, I just had to tell you that…or, and beside the Barnes & Noble on 15th, is there another bookstore nearby?
Girl: Um ,there’s the Strand on 16th
Me: Oh yeah, I always forget about that, but that’s it?
Girl: Yeah, all I know, I’m not from around here…
Me: haaa ha, me neither, I’m just over in BK
Girl: I love Williamsburg but it’s getting so, I dunno, weird.
Me: Totally weird, definitely, but I live closer to Dumbo. So where do you live?
Girl: UWS near Riverside Park
Me: Very cool, I’ve run in that park a few times.
Girl: I loooove Riverside Park
Me: Haa haa, awesome, listen I’ll check out the Strand but can I get your number, maybe call or text you sometime?
Girl: Sure, my name is Gina…
Me: Haaa haaa, sorry, my name’s Trevor…here, where’s your phone…I’ll punch my number in…

The New World of Meeting Girls

Me: Hey wow! Excuse me! I just had to tell you that you have one of the most gorgeous smiles I’ve seen.
Girl: Excuse me?
Me: I was just saying how beautiful your ey…
Girl: That’s a little patriarchal and condescending, isn’t it?
Me: Um, I was just…
Girl: You were just subjugating me and assigning me to some mythical beauty standard I could never hope to attain, is what you were “just”
Me: But I was only complimenting you on your…
Girl: I KNOW what you were doing and I simply refuse to conform…how’d you like it if I aggressively attacked your appearance? I’m sure you’d feel quite uncomfortable.
Me: Attack? Aggressive? I was merely…
Girl: You were merely perpetuating the stereotype of the easy girl because she’s in a short skirt and tank top walking on the street, you were…
Me: Complementing you, I was merely…
Girl: Oppressing me.
Me: Um…I was…
Girl: OK, listen, I know what you wanted to do, what you want from me, what every man wants from every woman and I’m simply standing up for myself and the women I know. You think “complimenting” me is all fine and dandy but it’s akin to verbal rape in that I never asked you to say those things nor would I give you permission to if you had asked. Society has trained you…and me…to assume that I am a sexual vessel merely for you to use and then discard when done. I am not and will never be again. Until society teaches its young men that they are…
Me: I think I’ve just turned gay.
Girl: Fabulous, here’s my number lets go catch a show sometime!!

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