I blame you

Victim blaming.

The naked celebrity brouhaha and what Kate, Jennifer, Selena et al should or shouldn’t have done. Rape victims and how our patriarchal society assumes a certain level of responsibility that the woman should be accountable for…and on and on and on…

I think we’re missing the point.

It’s not victim blaming when I tell you that you made it easy for your car being stolen off the city street because you left the keys in it. No, of course the car thief is totally to blame and is 100% accountable for the theft but can you affect, in any way, his choices? You bet your ass you can and that’s by not leaving the fucking car keys in the ignition. He looks at two cars…one with keys and one without…which one is he stealing?

Of course he’s taking yours.

And that’s the point. There are things that people can do to minimize, mitigate or eliminate the risks of phones being hacked, cars being stolen…bodies being raped…but to ignore those strategies because it is “victim blaming” is just plain stupid. These are things that you and I and every other person on this planet can do, now, ourselves, without having to wait for legislation or societal norms to catch up that will make other people change their behaviors. A shining example is that, of course, we need to teach our boys to respect girls and not rape them…

…that’s pretty damn clear…

…but to literally do nothing to protect oneself while you wait for that to happen—while you wait for a 3,000 year old misogynist, patriarchal society to completely transform itself—is the epitome of being a dumbfuck. When I say that an easy way to prevent naked pictures from being hacked off your phone is to not have naked pictures of yourself on your phone, I’m not blaming you for the theft, I’m simply telling you an easy way to prevent naked pictures from being hacked off your phone. Or like me telling you to take the car keys out of the ignition…

…you get to make the choice regardless what choices the other person makes.

If someone truly wants steal your car/photos/safety/whatever, they will usually find a way but also know that you have choices—that you can make—that will either make it more difficult for that to happen, or make it easier. Period. It is in no way victim blaming for me or anyone else to tell you various CHOICES YOU CAN MAKE for how to better protect yourself.

Choices *you* can make…

…go figure.

Believe. Go. Do.


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