you are your shadow

Dancing on clouds of Ambien, waiting
for a life never lived I sink
toward a reality that is covered in
a rough kind of sorrow
bought and paid for with everlasting credit
years ago…still
I felt a sort of hope
as I rolled around in the shit of life
it was fertilizing
my dreams
it wasn’t
my dreams became the anchor
that sunk me deeper
now waiting for the edges above me
to come falling in on me
to cover me in that
rough sorrow
but then
it was a voice
a smile, a way of moving just a few fingers
and I saw a glimpse
a crack in history
as you seeped into my world
shadows of you
running like small boys on the playground
laughing and crying
like boys do
until I was covered
and the shit of life
and I saw you clearly
the first
and the
forever time.

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