See-thru Brains

So they did this with me recently at the Harvard Medical school, during a recent neurological scare I had (more on that later), where they looked into the very structure of my brain. It was a longish process and I spent the better part of a day going through the various injections and preliminary examinations before they put me in the machine. I’ll honestly tell you that it was a little scary as I really didn’t know what to expect…and I was already frightened so that didn’t help the process at all. After about 90 minutes in the machine running through various scenarios that I was supposed to think about and scripted scenes I was supposed to mentally act out, they came back with an amazingly realistic 3D model of my brain.

Really…truly amazing.

Apparently, my brain is shaped almost exactly like a 7-11 convenience store located somewhere in Reseda, CA where the only things on the shelves were condoms, KY Jelly, silicone breast implants, various pieces of black lingerie, Purina goat chow and oddly enough, 8 pack cans of Bumble Bee Tuna (in spring water). The glass-door coolers only had beer (Corona) and frozen pizzas (Red Baron, pepperoni) except the one by the ATM machine which had the full frozen body of a supposed alien…with its big eyes open. Behind the counter there were even fewer items including liquid Rohypnol, scratch-off lotto tickets and 5 hour energy drinks….and 19,000 bottles of vodka.

I had originally gone to the medical center because I was very concerned…scared even…as I truly felt that there was a small Australian rodent, possibly a fawn-footed melomy (Melomys cervinipes), that had burrowed into my brain and was repeating everything people said to me but in an Ozzie accent.

I felt so much better after hearing the truth though.

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