I hear all the time that people just want to be loved, that is why we do the things we do, make the mistakes we make. While I agree that being loved by others is a great sensation, in fact probably the best on the planet, wanting to be loved is exactly the wrong way to think about—and, more importantly, go about—being loved.

Why ask people to do for us what we won’t do for ourselves?

It is a simple concept yet one of the hardest to comprehend…that loving ourselves is the ONLY way toward others loving us…that trusting ourselves, completely and without regard, is the only way that others can or ever will trust us. Ultimately, that by completely shedding our dependence on external validation is the only way that we can ever truly depend on others. We are the key to the entire process and we, ourselves, are the only people we control. Saying “I just want to be loved” is virtually the same as saying “please control how I feel about myself”

Um. No. The best way to say and think it is this;

“I don’t want to be loved by others, I want to love myself and by doing so have others clearly see their love within me; devoid of selfishness, bereft of sadness and anger… completely shared and naturally given.”

I think that sounds much better.

Believe. Go. Do.

~TrevorZen