When You Love Yourself

I’ve said before that the world would be different—peaceful, happy, amazing really—if we all truly loved ourselves but I guess I haven’t said why it would be so different. Think about why there is unhappiness, war, killing, poverty…basically the bad stuff that affects everyone. That stuff isn’t automatic, it’s not natural or endemic to the environment…it’s created by the humans on this planet. It happens because we do not love who we are, because we refuse to accept our looks, our shapes, our love lives…and we let others manipulate us by shaming and scaring us. In advertisements and in movies, books and magazines as well as the internet, they say that if we don’t buy the right toothpaste, the right beer, the right car then we will not be loved, we won’t have a good life, we will be ostracized and alone.

Being alone, it seems, is the worst possible nightmare according to media and society.

When you love yourself—I’m not talking about conceit, or selfishness, or even narcissism—and simply accept yourself as the amazing and wonderful person you are, there are so many benefits that your life literally and spectacularly changes as well as changes the lives of those around you. Loving yourself does not mean that your life suddenly turns perfect and you become happy. No, it means that you recognize, without bias and without deceit, who you really are and what you are capable of and because of that, you’re already satisfied with the things that you can and can’t change. Why look for differences, why look for role models? When you love yourself, the first thing that happens is that you stop comparing yourself to others because you no longer need to.

When you love yourself you no longer have envy, you no longer want something simply because someone else has it…or says that you should. The concept of class or station in society loses all meaning because they are based on exclusivity and exclusivity, whether in a country club, a college, a business or a whole society, depends on envy and fear. When you love yourself, you lose both envy and fear so you can’t feel threatened by another person…and you no longer need anyone’s validation that you are a wonderful, amazing person who deserves love and respect.

You already know that.

When you love yourself, you look at the world with new eyes because it is no longer about getting what’s yours…and fuck everyone else…it’s about helping, it’s about compassion, it’s about collaboration with others toward a common good. It’s about love and respect, not competition and rivalry. You are no longer controlled by the media, by the corporate institutions, by a government who attempt to manipulate you by playing on your deep seated fears.

Oh, and know that things would change radically. Drastically. Without envy or fear, the concept of fashion would be lost, sex could no longer help sell anything…there would be no cliques, no upper classes, no lower classes…media empires would crumble because they could no longer use fear to manipulate you. The poor would be helped, the hungry fed, the hurt would be healed because it is the right thing to do…and no one would be afraid to do it. When you love yourself, you cannot be convinced that whiter teeth, lite beer or a new car will make your life better because, regardless the products or services in the advertisement, what the toothpaste, beer and car companies are really trying to sell you is a better life…

…and you already have one of those 😉

Believe. Go. Do.

~TrevorZen

New Year

It’s an interesting thing how we assign specific and special value to a day, simply an arbitrary moment in time…New Year’s…that instant when our planet begins another rotation around our sun. While it is an obvious physical beginning—as in physics—in our minds it’s also a psychic beginning, a new path, that we mark by celebration with family and friends. This year brings an end to some of the most divisive and desultory happenings that we’ve experienced in a long, long time with tragedy and madness, despair and destruction…and a population actively working against itself toward the common good of no one it seems.

My message is the same as last year and the year before as it will be for next year…if I had one wish that would change the world, I would sincerely wish that the love you find is for yourself, first and foremost. By that simple change, everything changes…our society evolves and we become more than we have ever been. Knowing that it is just a wish, unrealistic and likely impossible, I am hoping that at least a few people who may read it find energy and meaning in it and begin to change themselves. That by so doing, they change their world…

…and ours as well. Happy New Year my friends.

Believe. Go. Do.

~TrevorZen

we are less

we are less now, we
have become empty
the fullness known, the
edge to edge volume
that was once who
we were…now gone
forever leaving a hole
a weight of nothing
a longing, a lone echo
fading until we
cannot remember not
being empty, a void
with a face, a voice we
ask and are never
answered…why?
we look at the night,
the dark unfocused
infinity that is the sky
and see for ourselves
there are new stars,
unfolding, created from
destruction they are
forming, reforming,
recreating and wearily
orbiting the center of
loss…the void we are,
the solid emptiness
that some would say
is where our a soul was
but we are less, we
have become empty

Realization, Regulation and the Future

Part 1 of 3

Freedom Realized

Gun control in these United States is, and always will be, a conceptual nightmare. There is so much raw emotion and inescapable personal subjectivity surrounding it that it is impossible to reconcile what we want from what we need and should have. This discussion does need to be had—now is as good a time as any—but know this going in; the chances of coming to consensus and agreeing on a course of action are impossible.

Yep, I said impossible…

…but something that is impossible only means that it is that way in the current condition, governed by physical laws (unbreakable) and human derived laws (completely arbitrary and ultimately transient) where these characteristics do not change. It does not mean impossible forever.

We cannot change physical laws (i.e. a small mass traveling at very high speeds is able to impart a disproportionally high amount of localized force at impact with a slow or unmoving object) but we can certainly change human derived laws as they are simply ink on paper, so to speak. The question then is, how do we change those laws when—in the instance of gun ownership—their very essence is enshrined in the singularly controlling document of our society where the second amendment, directly after freedom of speech, specifically calls out our right to own guns (ignore the militia wording for now).

That freedom is intrinsically entwined with all of the others enumerated inasmuch that removing one (or significantly devaluing it) will substantially affect the viability of the others, or so it’s thought, and I would argue; thought correctly, because that document is the heart and soul of this grand experiment, this America, that was created so differently, so fundamentally individual-based where it is a citizen centered society versus the ministrations and outright ownership of us by king and queen, Pope and state.

America was created as a direct reaction to the oppression and suppression of the individual by monarchy as well as papal protectorate. We were born from the will to be free from those shackles and were the first of our kind on this planet. Read that again…the first society based on our specific freedoms…on this planet. That’s kind of a big deal…a really, really big deal…so I hope you can see the relative impossibility of wholesale change to that document, to us as a society.

We have also made it very difficult to change the constitution unless there is a focused, all-encompassing effort to do so based on a virtually nationwide consensus…at the very least, 2/3rds of all state legislatures must ratify the change, called an amendment. While not impossible—we saw this occur for women’s voting rights, for prohibition and it’s repeal as well as several other “country level issues”—the amount of effort required for such a process is likely far behind us now.

We simply know way too much about way too much today, something that could not be said as little as 50 years ago. The forces necessary for the success of such an effort are too dispersed, too exclusionary, too focused on their tiny little issues to actually join forces and push through such a massive constitutional undertaking.

Finally, I don’t own a gun—I will never own a gun—but I do believe that gun ownership is here to stay, in fact, it has to stay for our society to remain ultimately viable, to remain as it was omnisciently envisioned hundreds of years ago. But that is not to say how that ownership might be regulated, might be intelligently administered.

Part 2 of 3

Freedom Regulated

Based on the structure and content of the Constitution, as written and amended, and the fact that it is extremely unlikely (I say impossible) that it will be altered within our lifetimes, we must agree that gun ownership is an inextricable part of our national identity (whether you personally have a gun or not is immaterial) therefore we then need to discuss how that ownership is going to be regulated to try to prevent the kinds of tragedies that have occurred recently.

Regulation, in and of itself, is meaningless when disconnected from coherent policy and/or strategic direction therefore it is that policy that first and foremost needs to be conceived and set at the federal level before adequate and encompassing regulation is even considered. There is no (or what exists might as well not be) adequate federal policy concerning gun ownership now. You may argue “Then what the fuck does the ATF do?” and the enjoining answer is “Not much.”

Current gun ownership policy (i.e. adjudicated via the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF)) is based on an adversarial and conflict generating relationship between the US government and its citizens, it Is not meant to prevent nor even slow the occurrence of the type of mass tragedy recently seen in Sandy Hook but instead is meant to protect the current monopoly that the Federal government has on the policing of weapons (and tobacco, alcohol, etc.). You may think that they are the same thing but in reality they have two entirely different planned outcomes.

Because the ATF focuses on the *policing* of the above listed items, they do not have provision to actually understand a grassroots level of gun ownership nor, as stated, does their mission nor their charter state as much (see ATF.gov). Their overarching assumption is that if they are involved with you in relation to a firearm, then you are, by definition, a criminal because they only deal with criminals. There is no way, even off-label (i.e. local authority interpretation), for the ATF to deal with a public crisis where the majority of the participants are all in legal good standing re; the firearms owned. In short, how can they regulate the lawful ownership and use of firearms when their basic mission/charter is to create and enforce policy that assumes that the aforesaid use is illegal. How is policy like that supposed to create any kind of regulation that is palatable to a document, the constitution, that says that owning a gun is a right.

You can see the conflict.

Based on the above, on history as well as intelligent analysis, for our 2nd amendment guaranteed freedom of gun ownership to be adequately and fairly regulated, there has to be a separate and/or controlling interest within the government that starts from the assumption that while gun ownership is a right, it’s use and purpose must align with the best interests of the citizenship as a whole, the same as every other adequate and fair policy-based regulation that exists now. We regulate many things, also identified within the constitution, that in some cases prohibits and/or denies certain uses of those items therefore there is plenty of precedent that can be modeled for the new gun ownership/use policy.

I am not an expert on these policies nor have I claimed such expertise but I am a thinking and feeling human as well as a citizen of this country. I would hazard an opinion that regulating guns should be similar to the way that we regulate prescription drugs inasmuch that we can define the various levels of firearms, including fully automatic weapons, into classes like drugs and then have specific authorities (experts similar to doctors) who can “prescribe” said weapons based on manifest need and experience. The “user” of the weapon would need periodical check-ups to ensure that the need and the experience continue to be adequate for the class of weapon that they have.

Citizens that exhibit behavior not consistent with a safe and sane society would be denied use of specific weapon classes…if they are allowed weapons at all. Some behavior that may affect legal gun ownership *and use* might be mental health records, prison records, location and/or other pertinent facts that can be documented and presented to the prescriber. A similar organization such as the Federal Drug Administration (FDA) can be created that regulates gun ownership from a beneficial use perspective (versus the exiting one promulgated by the ATF) and certifies and/or trains the controlling authorities (the prescribers). Similarly, both guns and ammunition should be subject to traceability regulations so that an evidence trail, from manufacture though purchase record, will always be maintained….similar to the way pharmacies are regulated now.

For example, if you present your request and the documented evidence shows that you are mentally stable (and *all dependent relatives* within your household are mentally fit as well), that you have no criminal record, that you live in a rural area and have sufficient land (area size) and sufficient expertise (again, documented) there should be no reason that you should not be allowed to purchase and own any type of hand held weaponry that you can afford.

This includes fully automatic rifles (which are illegal to own now).

Based on a well thought out policy such as the one described here and the resulting regulations that would be created, the citizens of this country would have zero reason to fear gun ownership or be afraid that those weapons may be used against them…or their children.

This is merely an opinion as the actual policy would need to be very well thought out, not derived from some “hare brained” idea from some guy on the internet…but hopefully you see that there can be adequate and fair policy as long as the original assumption is based on reality and, most importantly, the constitution of the United States of America.

Part 3: Freedom’s Future

TBD

A Merry Wish From Science

In the footsteps of our famous,
our likely and our truly revered
I would like to bid to all of you
that, from me, you’ve most feared

No, it’s not a Merry Christmas
nor a hale and happy New Year
you get those already, too many
so please just let me be clear

I wish you, more than anything
to wake up to yourself this day
to love that person you find there
and that this is what you’ll say

“I cannot separate myself from you
though I might try with bullet and gun
singular but with different appearances
on the same trajectory, we’re not quite done”

“In the hearts of stars and galaxies
every part of us was once born there
we’ve circulated, have been everything
the land, the sea, yes…even the air”

bosons and mesons, particles too small
aligned in a way that makes an atom
with atoms all colliding and coalescing
and coming together in a new fashion

it becomes solid, weak and strong forces
rotating and orbiting within and without
until happenstance decides a resting state
that ultimately leaves no doubt

carbon and hydrogen, helium and others
all composed the same but quite different
they self-align, lattice like and complete
a probability factor made self-eveident

only physical laws are governing
all we can say and all we can ever do
we can cover that with god and religion
but it will never be literally true

science cares nothing of our wishes
nothing of our wants and needs
while yes it underpins our existence
it must be oblivious to our pleas

it cannot be argued nor cajoled
against which physical evidence exists
as what is “not known” in a point of time
becomes the subjects of our myths

science says “I don’t know” quite happily
needing no period to mark the end of a page
it will wait until the means is derived
testing and searching, age to age to age

what I say to you this Christmas eve
with love and caring and heartfelt cheer
is that it is you and you and you and you
who will make this…an amazing year

you will do so because you are made so
but not divinely, by design or from fears
you will do so as the end point ellipsis
pointing to the next almost 14 billion years

Believe. Go. Do.

~TrevorZen

Society Tells Me So

Society. What does that mean to you? What responsibilities does it have to you? You to it? These questions are the fundamental origin of all of the things we are asking ourselves right now; gun control, the size of government, social services, taxes, defense spending, unions, etc. These separate, individual issues are all very important, to differing degrees to each of us, that can be generally answered by understanding how you feel about society itself.

“Does society owe you anything”, or conversely, “what do you owe society” are two questions that, when answered, will frame how you answer all of the questions already listed. Different labels that we have created (Liberals, Conservatives, Libertarians, etc.) are used to aggregate your beliefs about society but they are rarely accurate in the whole as we all have differing degrees of belief based on the issue at hand…regardless that the issue is merely a facet of our societal loyalties…but knowing your overarching belief system does partially direct you toward a specific set of characteristics, or labels.
 
If you believe that society has an obligation to you (and everyone else) to make sure that you are protected and kept reasonably safe then gun control is likely high on your list of concerns. If, on the other hand, you believe it’s not society’s responsibility to keep you safe, that you as an individual are solely responsible for that safety, gun control is probably way down on your list of things to worry about.

Similar contrasts and comparison questions can be asked for the size of government, social services, taxes, defense spending, unions, etc. and we would see similar results. Those that believe that society has a responsibility, or duty, versus those that believe individuals have that reciprocal responsibility/duty will become quite clear when the pertinent question is asked.

There is no right and wrong answer, by the way, only majorities and minorities (i.e. see the last election for an example) and the tacit understanding that majorities hold sway but that (at least in the US) systems are in place to at least nominally protect the interests of the minority.

Think about how you feel about society the next time you find yourself in a debate over a divisive issue (like gun control) and frame your response according to those beliefs instead of according to the direct issue. I believe that you will start to find that you share many of the same ideals, you just differ on how those ideals are carried out or dealt with.

Believe. Go. Do.

~TrevorZen

A Love Problem

I think it is time for us all to be honest and admit that the United States is a singularly violent country. Much more so than other countries and we are for many reasons…it’s like violence is a hum in the background that no one remembers hearing but that everyone is affected by. Think about it…we were born in violence as we broke away from Britain, we wrested the land violently away from its former inhabitants, we split ourselves in two and violently fought a civil war, we encouraged violence by opening up the west at the point of the barrel of a gun and, ultimately, we enshrined in our most revered document the right for us to own violent weapons regardless having any reason for doing so.

Add to that white noise-level of violence in our history the fact that we also devalue individuals by demonizing their mental health problems and ostracize them throughout their lives, is it any wonder why the Sandy Hooks, the Columbine and Aurora Colorado’s and the Virginia Tech’s happen. Lots of places on this planet have guns freely available to their citizens but we seem to be the one that utilizes them the most frequently to destroy large amounts of other citizens.

I don’t think we have a gun problem…I think we have a violence problem…and to counter that, you need to supersede that violence with something stronger.

Love.

If we gave a loaded gun to every able-bodied person in this country yet consistently practiced compassionate love with and among our fellow citizens, there would be no violence, there would be no Sandy Hook’s. We would know when one of us was hurting and when the structures of their mind were faltering…we would know because we would care to know…

…simply because that is what we do.

Believe. Go. Do.

~TrevorZen

20 + 6 + 2

Our words, an abandoned beauty, a cruelty,
severe and unrestrained
beating senselessly on iron walls of silence
we seek redemption within them
for them, without them
we know why, yet can never say it in speech
in deed…our attention wavers, we forget
little by little, the torment, the agony, the
faint far-off beating of tender hearts
of the simple questions from a child’s lips
why?
we segregate and divide in order to coalesce
in order to proceed, we look for rules broken
for errors, for things undone and in need
of doing…we can’t overlay rationality
atop that disintegrating mind, within that
crumbling façade we only see pain, theirs
ours, we hear silence like a weight, a black
and burning heaviness that seeps past
our walls, our predictions
we want and can’t have, we cry without
tears, we look and will never see
that which is on the wrong side of sight
what is within
we define where definition is meaningless
because we don’t need meaning
we need love and ultimately kindness
to clearly know that the act, the destruction
was us and us again and again
defining a world with bits and pieces of
pain, of ugly notoriety, of sensationalist
acclaim…where once it was the defacement
of a single life it is now the collection
of other lives, 20 + 6 + 2, unasked and taken
past iron walls, weighed down by burning
blackness…we supplied the weapon…we
wrote the script
we are always to blame.

Never

‎20 kids and 6 adults did not die yesterday because we don’t allow prayers in school. They did not die because we don’t pay teachers enough money. They didn’t die because the government is Democrat or Republican. They did not die because of or in spite of gun laws. They did not die because we did or didn’t do something.

20 kids and 6 adults died because one man killed them…regardless the weapon, he would have done so, (maybe less, maybe more would have died) because that’s what he thought was the thing to do.
He did not think the way you and I think and we cannot rationally explain why he thought the way he did. Something, mentally or physically, was different in his brain that made what he did OK for him to do it.

We can try to predict this kind of catastrophe in the future and attempt to look into other (perhaps all) people’s brains but we will never, ever be able to adequately know that other people have similar differences in their brains or thoughts.

Never.

Everything we are doing now; the talking, the heated discussions, the predictions, the blaming, the recriminations…they are all meaningless and utterly useless when looked at from the perspective of stopping things like this from occurring in the future. Guns. Knives. Poison. Carbon monoxide. Nuclear weapons. Fingers, hands and feet. These are simply tools. People, whose brains make killing another human OK, will do so regardless the ease of access to any of these tools. They will and have done so for thousands of years.

I am not saying that it is all useless so we should just give up. No. I am saying that we need to be honest and rational and admit that there will always be an element of society that does not think the way that the everyone else does. That thinks that it is OK to kill another human. We should erect barriers where we can and make it as hard as possible for these people to act on their thoughts, yes, but we cannot lock every single person in a room on the supposition that they “might” go off the rails one day.

We simply can’t.

We can love each other, we can show this and make this known every day to every person we meet and we can live our lives in the best way possible.

We can find peace again…as we have for thousands of years before…and will for thousands of years from now.