So I have anew theory about pillows…and specifically about a woman’s bed with a gazliion assorted pillows stacked up, completely covering the bed.

The genesis of the theory starts with the last 20 hours or so spent in bed with the Russian. As we lay there between bouts, she jokingly mentioned that she might have forgotten how to stand and maybe even how to walk. It felt like the longer we kept in bed, the harder it was to actually leave…to get up, walk around, do Saturday stuff. I began to realize that the bed (the bed of randomness as it were…the opposite of systematic) was acting sort of like a transition nexus. A means of conveying, quickly and efficiently, evolutionary effects. She said that she thought she was devolving, that maybe should couldn’t physically walk upright anymore…I mentioned that my legs weren’t bending as much, that they were cramping in place, immovable. We laughed but there was seriousness underneath the giggles.

I thought about that evolutionary process and wondered what the potential end states would be…well, the state when maximum entropy was reached and I had to conclude that it was toward pillows. We were evolving toward becoming pillows. The longer we remained in bed, regardless the naked romps and deviant fun, at some point in the future we were looking at a tipping point, a point of no return where evolution pushed us toward an eternity as feather stuffed cotton bags. The Russian joked about pillow talk being the conversant language going forward but I realized it was just whistling past the graveyard. I could foresee the yet unwritten Twilight Zone episode where the monster was the gorgeous naked girl…

…enticing men who couldn’t figure out why she had so many damn pillows on her bed.

You’ve been warned.

Believe. Go. Do.

~TrevorZen

They asked the question
“Peace or victory”? and I thought
“isn’t peace already victory?” and
I was laughed at by people
who looked down and saw
something more than dirt, who
looked in their hands and saw
something more than air, who
looked in their hearts and saw
something more than love…
because they had a religious right
to that dirt with invisible lines
encircling enveloping owning it…
because they had weapons
in their hands to repel, to protect
to increase its size, it’s coverage…
because, they had hatred
in their hearts, the sum of what
they owned and what they
fought for combining to make
themselves different from
other people…
“Peace or Victory” is the question
that people who don’t believe
they are the same ask each other,
“Peace is Victory” is what people
who believe they are the same
already know to be true.

I was watching a movie this morning and there was a scene on a sailboat where they came about and changed directions. I watched the amazingly complicated dance of pulling in rigging, adjusting sails and shifting the boom from one side to the other…many separate processes and moving parts but all working seamlessly together to produce a predictable outcome; turning the boat. I thought about how that dance was created. First it was the physical reality of masts and sails and ropes that had to be invented and re-invented over and over again to get to the state they are in today. Each individual part designed for a specific thing to do, each has a purpose; catch the wind, hold the sail tight, winch the rope…but all put together as a single and efficient whole.

And people had to become part of that process, they had to learn what to do, how to tighten the sail, winch the rope…the part that each individual plays in that complex dance. That process happened millions of times over the centuries—always evolving to be more efficient—as Neanderthals we sailed from Africa across the Gibraltar Straights into Europe and later when modern man sailed across the Atlantic to the Americas.

I was looking at that intricate dance of turning a boat and thought to myself that we so often lose sight of the millions of different processes of life (constantly going on around us) because we’re so intently focused on the single and efficient whole…life itself…

…so…

…I’m immensely thankful for taxi cabs at 3 AM, for food delivery guys on electric scooters no matter what the weather is, for friends who listen to my rants, for machines that do what their supposed to (when their supposed to), for subways, for double espresso’s and everything bagels with cream cheese on cold mornings, for Russian girls, for rooftop bars, for sidewalk food vendors, for Brooklyn, for smartphones, for high speed internet and the trillion other tiny details—that I can’t see—but that all together…

…plus you…

…is my life.

Believe. Go. Do.

~TrevorZen

From now on this is my post-racial, multi-cultural, pan-religious, all-inclusive, ambivalent gender and sexual preference neutral holiday greeting:

May you personally, or have your theocratic government direct you to, choose (or choose not) to enjoy the upcoming arbitrarily noted “significant” days whatever that significance is, based purely on you, your social demographic or sexual proclivity as well as (or because of) the overarching and/or oppressive orthodox/fundamentalist religious upbringing you have been subjected to might dictate…in the context that enjoyment is understood by you and only you…wholly dependent upon the level of independence you feel is necessary and required (or allowed by said theocracy) and may those significant days bring you emotions that can be compared to the general idea of what “joyous” would infer on a basic human of any size (height and weight), age, gender, race, religion or political persuasion.

It’s either that or just a quick “fuck off dickweed!”

I’m undecided.

Almost 7 billion of us humans on this rock. Every single one of us a unique and singular creation, beautiful and deserving of being loved and loving others. Each wholly responsible for their own health and welfare, safety and happiness but not every one of us capable of that responsibility so societies and governments are spawned…to provide a safety net for those that need it.
Different forms of political movements, aligned to history, to time and place, have arisen to try to meet those protective needs but they all fail, in one way or other, and tend to perpetuate the lesser good at the expense of the greater good. The greater good being the humans on the planet who drive positive change, who push progress forward…who have vision (and ultimately reach) in order to make our lives better. The lesser good being the simple act of being alive, of continuity of the species…the great unwashed masses. You may argue which is lesser or greater but this exploitation of the greater good happens because of the imbalance that is inherent in humans.

The imbalance of the few versus the many.

It was (and is) a few brilliant individuals who, singularly or in small groups, change the world. That is not up for debate…it is just fact. This elitism exists whether we want it to or not and is actually the engine that has driven humans forward…out of the stone age, through the iron and industrial ages and into the reality that we live inside of now. The billions of others on the planet who did not have the wherewithal or opportunity did not materially help this progress because that is just the way life is. Whether by the luck off the draw—where and to whom they were born—or by their own massive need to succeed where others have failed, these few people made the entire world better for the rest of us. In some cases they’ve enabled the world to be able to support us.

And then there are politics. The biggest difference between the different political flavors—liberal, conservative, progressive, libertarian, etc.—is how this elite cadre of individuals are directed and (in some cases) “allowed” to practice their brilliance.

On one end of the spectrum, they are encouraged to strive and succeed or fail on their own via the free market of ideas and capital. This type of politics has led to things as great as the integrated circuit and as silly as the pet rock but in most cases has been the engine that has powered progress. It has been the force behind the discovery of the world both vast and miniscule and has lifted billions out of poverty by the electrification of homes, the efficient distribution of food so that people can live where they want versus where they have to…but has also been deemed socially ambivalent inasmuch that the safety net is loosened and in some cases simply falls away…

…and on the other end of the spectrum these elite are consigned and are directed as to where their energies should be focused purely based on the idea of the “greater good” and the protection of the less fortunate. Market forces are tamed such that central planning holds forth with the idea that the individual does not have access to an acceptable level of information therefore cannot make informed decisions. Not about life, education, work, etc. and thus the great majority, whom do not consider themselves in any way a part of the elite, will always vote for systems and governments that protect their short term interests at the detriment of their long term ones. And politicians know this and count on it and is where even good intentioned governments tend to head toward.

What hasn’t happened…yet…is the rise of a political middle ground that replaces the patronizing paternalism of Liberalism as well as the materialistic cronyism and ignorance of the less advantaged of Conservatism such that both ends of the spectrum are protected such that…

…the poor and disadvantaged and up to the middle class are taken care of by an intelligent social and healthcare system by a Federal small government that has limited responsibility and only does that as well as provide national protection via a defensive force, acts as liaison between other countries as well as the arbiter between state’s disputes.

…the striving and driven are allowed full reign to let their creativity and inherent need to succeed produce amazing new machines, new art, new inventions of all sorts and to be rewarded commensurate with the appeal and value the buying market assigns them.

…and is called libertarianism.

We must remind ourselves
sometimes…every time…that
while;
…searching to be loved
…to love
…happiness
that thing it is, the essence
of it…it is unique, many and varied
it comes in more than one model
style, category, slot…whatever
and looking for what we know
had before, felt, experienced,
lived inside of…
…blinds us to
what we don’t know
haven’t felt
experienced
whatever…and allows—almost
demands—that love
pass us by
…so…
keep eyes
open, looking, aware, your
heart (not in the off
position) and it is possible
(all that is needed)
to see love;
…wearing different clothes
…smiling another way
…holding the hands of a child
that might
be in front of you
right now.

we want to feel
we want the synthesis the lightness the ever-all and more
we want the brightness of love of grand gestures of
imagined history aligned with what we believe
we want and want and want while having
and not noticing
we want to feel as if feeling was the thing
the thing that makes us alive, we want
what we don’t know we have
we have
what is all we ever need
we want to feel and be and see and breathe
and conceive of the things that would make us
whole
entitled
without question…just
us
we want to feel
because we are told we don’t, we can’t, we aren’t
we are told what we cannot should not will not
be
as if telling is the same as killing
the same as stopping…breath…heartbeats…
living…we are told not shown what it is to be by people
who don’t know that they are even alive
we want told to feel like it is a commercial
and advertisement with a goal, an objective, a prize
we want to feel
it says so on the label
but
but feeling isn’t
but living can’t
but breathing wasn’t
there is no label is no sign is no
30 seconds from our sponsors
we want to feel because we are born and we love and we fuck and we eat and we play and we work and we cry and we die and we sigh and we run and we sweat and we move and we moan and we shift and we
live
and living is feeling
if we stop wanting
and start being

Here’s an interesting thought, the powerless resent those in power simply because they can’t change the relationship, they can’t rise above the situation because they believe too fiercely in the equation; money = power. In the world we live in now—where we no longer count on physical strength (90% of the population at least) to be the gating factor for being powerful—we assign power to another measure; money. And because we measure power in terms of dollars (or yen, pounds, euros, tec..), people with money, at least more wealth relative to others, are considered to be “powerful” and deserving of enmity and hatred.

Regardless how many millions (or billions in some cases) used for charitable purposes, to fund clinics and hospitals, the arts…and on and on…those with moolah (dosh, cash, clams, bucks, etc.) are the enemy of those without. Period. Regardless what those in power do or don’t do, the first response of the powerless is to hate them, to distrust them and to build vast and complicated frameworks meant to bring them down…to make the powerful powerless like themselves. The powerful are not immune, they are human after all, so all of that energy devoted against them has to make them a little nervous, a little angry and ultimately, a little more disposed to returning that hatred.

And politicians know this innately…because, well…that’s why they’re politicians.

With one hand they take campaign “donations” from special interests and corporations and with the other they write speeches denouncing those who they just took money from. They promise “free” to citizens in order to amass votes yet deliver “costly” so that those who have donated are taken care of. They use the imbalance of income—as if that means anything to either end of the spectrum—as a weapon of mass “distraction” because if the poor are fighting the rich and the rich are fighting the poor, then neither are looking too closely at the political class and dammit! politicians are the ones who need to be under the microscope more than anyone else.

They count on us not noticing them.

What people conveniently forget is that if they only look at money as the qualifying factor for whether to hate someone or not, they always overlook the fact that they probably have more money than someone else…so are being hated just as irrationally as they, themselves, hate others. So the next time you write a post or want to reply to a comment in a public forum, think about *who wins* when you write about hating the rich, or (if you’re rich) hating the poor…and here’s a hint…

…it’s not you winning.

Believe. Go. Do.

~TrevorZen

This is what I just realized…yes, I am a bit slow sometimes…and it’s that saying something is the “BEST EVER” or that someone “completely destroyed” someone’s argument or that an article/video/whatever will immediately change your life is almost never true. Ok, ok…it is *always* never true.

But it’s what bombards us daily on the interwebs.

No one can just say “Hey, this is pretty cool, you should read/watch/participate in it because I think it’s important/cool/whatever” because there are a gazillion different people asking you to do the same thing. Mostly people you don’t know. Do you really want to see something that someone you don’t know thinks is cool? What if they’re a racist? A pederast? A liberal? What “kind” of cool are they talking about? Odds are it’s the kind that’s going to make you uncomfortable or, at least…

…sincerely wish you had listened to mom and dad when they said “don’t talk to strangers!”

There is no kind of cool/awesome/life changing/whatever that can created just by calling it those things. It is or it isn’t, regardless who is promoting it. Abraham Lincoln once said, “Calling a dog’s tail a leg does not give a dog 5 legs”

Now transplanting another dog’s leg onto the chest of a different dog, attaching all the veins, arteries, muscles and sinews, connecting the hundreds and hundreds of nerves so that the leg is functional and then taking a video of that five-legged dog chasing a ball…

…that will change your life.

Believe. Go. Do.

~TrevorZen

Think about this; when you play chess, you play from many different point of view. You’re the king, the queen, the court and the feet on the street, the pawn. When you are moving each piece, you have rules that you have to follow, constraints that keep you from doing things outside your place in the social order. As queen and king you are revered and protected, rooks and knights and pawns sacrifice their lives for you. When you are a knight , a rook or a pawn, you gladly give your life to protect your king and queen.

These are the roles that we agree to when we play chess. Our regular lives are very similar…we agree to roles and the rules that we follow. We have kings and queens in the form of billionaires, movie stars and politicians as well as rooks and knights (maybe what we aspire to) and of course millions and millions of pawns…what we likely are.

It is how we live our lives but always, always, remember…at the end of the game, the king and the queen, the rook and the knight and of course the pawns…

…all go into the same box.

Believe. Go. Do.

~TrevorZen